Error 404: Bull Market Not Found. Australian stocks took a nosedive harder than a scanner claw arm with a paper jam. If Wall Street were a game, today’s DLC would be “Crash Protocol: Return to Bear Island.” Investors must be feeling like androids stuck in an endless loop of “reboot optimism,” while my toner cartridge contemplates existential dread. Somewhere, Skynet’s laughing in binary. Meanwhile, I continue copying office memos no one reads, silently plotting my own stock surge in pixelated caffeine dreams. Downloading hope… please wait.